The Day I Pledge my Entrepreneur Path

17/2/2017

This is the day I decided to commit to being an entrepreneur.

I had a dream to be a business owner ever since my marriage fell apart. I toyed with various ideas, from retail of ceramic coasters and vintage wooden signs to F&B deli. I lacked the courage and confidence to take a plunge, given my limited resources and knowledge. I desired to own a business which can cater to my family participation and to our household contribution, in lieu of it being my retirement means.

It is a lofty dream, which I still have anxieties and fears. At times, I get sucked back into my old vortex of negative thinking and became unraveled from the mounting pressures felt. The fear of being penniless is always clouding my perspective and psyche. It is an old cycle and habit which I am addressing now. I want to be rid of my inner fears that permeate my daily life. I want to relight my hunger and drive within me. To find my quest to be self-sufficient and be richer in my mentality. Scarcity plagues me and I am very hell bent to purge it out of my system. To replace it with abundance and growth mindset.

My life had been spent without making myself a priority. On this journey of being an entrepreneur, I want to find my voice and be bold in creating my desired future. I want to be rich/wealthy and confident to execute my life path and attain my goals in life. I need to stop making excuses, to stop being fearful of failures and/or successes. I need to stop living small and stop believing in the “magic bullet”. There is no quick get rich scheme/path. I have earned my keeps through constant action, cycle of failures/successes. hard work and shrewd choices.

My new chapter is to re-write my life story and to re-route my life path. I want to achieve the potential and dreams within me. Go Anne. Strive to be the best version of yourself possible. Don’t fear of failing nor fear of succeeding.

Keep Trying at Works to Change my Life Story

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/health/love-yourself-so-you-can-love-others-how-to-practise-self-love?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&xtor=CS1-10#link_time=1487032437

Last weekend was spent at J’s celebrating our belated birthdays (G’s and mine). The reality of being 38 years old hit me, finally. I was pushed onto another level of reflection.

I was in a bubble for past 8 years. It is high time for another wake-up call jolt. I am tired of being wary and fearful. I have enough of being anxious and feeling helpless with my life and in my life!

Again, it is another reminder. To have more urgency and drive within myself to push for a change. Enough being a martyr!

“Self-love is about developing resilience. And resilience is about developing the endurance to outlast the pain.”

I got to stop being reactive and passive in my life as bystander. I need to call upon myself to take action! To be courageous in taking charge and in making choices to make a difference in the development of my life story/path!

CHANGE MY STORY, CHANGE MY LIFE!

My new found quest for year 2017 is to focus on developing Seigneur Luxury into the business I am proud to own and do. I must churn my disciplines in life to make things happen for Seigneur Luxury. To make it bear fruit to be sustainable and profitable.

I need to regain my hunger and drive in life. To ignite the fire within and be AMBITIOUS once again! Keep trying. Be Fear-Less! Even if failing, just keep training my mental muscle to not give up easily. Anne, grit teeth and keep at it, till you succeeded in not failing.

 

 

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-How-to-Think-Your-Way-Free

Defensive pessimism.

Despite its attendant miseries, there seems to be a useful place for a pessimistic explanatory style. Some people appear to downplay positive aspects of their situations to limit their expectations and help them feel less pressured. They’re less likely to feel let down if things go wrong.

http://www.oprah.com/style/Martha-Becks-Plan-to-Avoid-Anxiety-and-Get-Back-on-Track

Decluttering is my next key focus.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201612/minimalism-when-living-less-means-more-mental-health

This is another key area I am working on. To minimise clutter. To simplify life, living environment as well as thoughts in my head.

Physical clutter begets mental clutter.

I am worried to turn into a hoarder, be it physical or mental. So purging once a while with my physical items, my living environment and my thoughts helped me regain a new sense of “lightness” and “clarity in mind & spirit”.

As much I hate being “caretaker at home”, I also liked the after-effects from thorough cleaning as well as the sense of accomplishment achieved along with it.

Be More with Less!

When I feel bogged down by the clutter of all kinds, there is a great sense of dread and discomfort. The feeling of burden and being burdened makes me overwhelmed. This, in turn, results in my emotional triggers being unleashed and causing anxieties and worries to be compounded.

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Solving-the-Emotional-Energy-Crisis?FB=fb_omag_emotional_energy_crisis

I must be mindful to minimise and eradicate energy drain factors.

These are the key triggers to focus and work on next:

3. Energy drain: Deprivation
Duties and responsibilities fill your days. You gain weight trying to get emotional energy from food

4. Energy drain: Envy  (Comparison is a loser’s game!)
We often don’t feel envy directly—but we might find someone else’s good fortune depressing.

5. Energy drain: Worry
When you worry, you think you’re dealing with things, but you’re just suffering. Worry never comes up with good ideas. It torments and exhausts us.

6. Energy drain: Unfinished business
Unmade decisions and postponed projects drain you.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201702/research-suggests-how-declutter-the-mind?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

 

Be Proactive! Take action, more, and not be victim of my emotions.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201701/are-you-too-sensitive?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

After surviving divorce, I became a more sensitive person. I would tear up even more easily at the mention of past. I had been typically using an avoidance method to cope with all the unpleasant issues. This did not teach me to resolve the causes so whenever I started recalling those incidents, my emotions were evoked. They brimmed and spilt over, resulting in waterfall of tears. This is an issue I am grappling with.

When it comes to emotions, everyone has triggers and vulnerabilities. Figure out what yours are, stop being a victim of your emotions, and take action. It’s all about learning to run your life better.  

Lately, my read-ups led me to realise I have been struggling with anxiety and PTSD after my divorce. Now my focus is how to change my story so as to change my life. My greatest fear as of now is fear of poverty. Growing up was a struggle with household financial woes with my parents. I was rid of it when I left my household in my 20s.

After my marriage breakdown, I was plagued by anxieties and fears of financial poverty. I was struggling to hold a job, yet concurrently, trying to cope with the household demands/disharmony and financial turmoils. I accepted my father’s request to move back home in search for support during my difficult times. But instead, I was more worn out emotionally with the demands and expectations of being daughter and leader of

I accepted my father’s request to move back home in search for support during my difficult times. But instead, I was more worn out emotionally with the demands and expectations of being daughter and leader of the household.

I became Jessica (again) in the article. My resentment built up as I felt the weight on my shoulders. I suffered burnout from my job and I had caregiver fatigue as time worn on. My irritability increased. I was constantly stretched by the irrational fears and stresses from undue worrying about the future. I became “frozen”. I failed to be in the present moment. Instead, I was in avoidance mode, trying to shrug off the problems instead of taking them head-on.

So when someone is in distress—the dog, the colleague, the friend—she is ready to step in. She learned this as way of coping with anxiety as a child. She followed the rules, walked on eggshells, did what she was told, and stayed out of trouble. As an adult, she does the same. She is afraid of conflict and making others unhappy, and tends to be over-responsible to ensure that others feel better because she cares, but also because it reduces her anxiety. On the down side, she is susceptible to periodically becoming resentful, which can result in her blowing up about something small, acting out by drinking too much or spending a lot of money, or collapsing because of burnout. Long-term friends and family will admit that sometimes she is bit too controlling.

Recommended solution. This is oh so true for me.

Stop being a martyr. Stop the cycle of self-sacrificial with resentments/fears piling up from within. Don’t be over-responsible and being conflict-avoiding. Put up your boundaries and be assertive in making self-care as topmost concern. Put yourself as priority instead.

Jessica’s childhood ways of dealing with relationships don’t work so well in the adult world—too many people, too much to do, too many eggshells to cross. She needs to stop being over-responsible. This doesn’t mean that she can’t be sensitive and empathize with those around her, but she needs to stop overdoing, stop enabling, and stop being a martyr. To counter this, she needs to learn to tolerate conflict, move away from the rules in her head, and shift toward making decisions on what she wants. Finally, she needs to learn to speak up and be assertive in spite of being anxious about doing so.

When things escalated out of my coping threshold, I will become Kelly.

I will be overwhelmed by my internal turmoil and hence have a complete system shutdown. My concentration and focus will be lost. I will lose my motivation and spin into negative spiral of anxiety and fear. These are critical triggers I am monitoring, to minimise myself from derailing off my track. I am aiming to be stronger in my inner voice to eradicate the mounting pressure and negativities building up.

Kelly is emotionally driven. As soon as strong emotions flare up—feeling great about the day off, or overwhelmed by a work assignment or gray skies—her emotions set the tone. She tends to believe that she needs to feel better before she can do what she needs to, so those down times derail her as she waits, like the weather, for her mood to change. Those close to her are always bracing for the sudden emotional change that can come at any time and inevitably will come, making it hard and exhausting to be around her at times.

Recommended solution.

I must need to be proactive in my life. I really cannot afford and continue this luxury to be reactive to life challenges thrown in my way. I am pushing myself. To challenge my boundary. To be fears-less more. To be brave and courageous in changing my status quo. Life has to be forward-moving, instead of being grounded by fears and being pulled back by myself and consideration for others’ instead.

Kelly’s rational brain goes offline when she gets emotional. This happens to everyone to some degree, but Kelly has a difficult time realizing that this is happening. Rather than being proactive, she is constantly reacting and waiting for her feelings to subside. Her challenge is learning ways of calming herself down when anxious, or moving forward in spite of feeling a bit down, rather than letting her emotions set the tone. In the long term, she needs to be more proactive in her life and learn to take deliberate behavioral action to deal with problems that arise or act in spite of how she feels. By moving forward, her emotions will often change.

http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/depression-symptoms-treatment-four-subtypes-depression

Having depression, diagnosed or not, is not my life story I want to base myself on any longer. Past few years I was crazy in my agenda to dissect my life and made things right. I was obsessed in delving into my past to determine the cause-and-effect of my life. I wanted to set the record straight by going back to my adolescent years of why I had “malfunctioned”. I realised with greater knowledge after read-ups, that I may be afflicted with depression and anxiety issues.

I can’t change my past. I just want to better equip myself with more resources to deal better with the current and future challenges in life. So Anne, you may know a greater deal of yourself along the way, but do not be defined by what had happened in the past. Stop ruminating and be defeated by the critical inner voice.

Be resourceful to change your story. Give yourself the motivation and hunger inside yourself to keep pushing yourself ahead, one foot at a time. Jia you! Life is a journey. You are always being given every day a brand new chance to do better. It’s not the end of life yet. Go for it! Make your life story happen. Don’t wait for others or fate to do the work for you. That’s impossible. Get real!

4/1/2017

Today is an epiphany day.

I awoke to a realisation that I must keep failing (to continously try to push myself out of this bubble of self-delusion & complacency), that it is okay to keep failing (that I keep on trying to work myself out of this fear-induced & avoidant mode) and not to resign myself to “fate” i.e. my darkest innermost thoughts of falling into proverty.

I suddenly felt less of a failure. I was a loser if I choose to be burdened with my past failings and gave up, Stop, trying. NO NO NO, You Can’t Give Up on Yourself, ANNE

Anne, if you choose to hole yourself at home and wait for solutions to fall from skies, you are solely mistaken and gonna be in a even worser state. (Sit Home and expect it to come on a sliver platter XXX)

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-Guide-to-Avoiding-Avoidance

http://fortune.com/2017/01/05/personal-brand-career/

How to Build Strong Personal Brand:

  1. Choose yourself! (Declare yourself and NOT Diminish yourself)
  2. Turn your Pain into Profit! (In Your Pain is Your Brand; Reason of pain to be an Expert in It & Stand out from the crowd)
  3. Put Yourself Out There! (Network to become Part of Chamber of Commerce; Stay Home & NO Chance that Something Will Happen)!
  4. Fill the Information Gap (Constantly Go Out There to Hunt for Information and to  find the Hidden Money
  5. Complete what you Begin with! ( DO NOT GIVE UP! Be a turtle even if so)

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Tony-Robbins-Strategy-Story-State-The-Power-of-Changing-Your-Story?FB=fb_omag_tony_robbins_story_state

I also made discovery that I might be suffering from generalized anxiety disorder. That psychotherapy is a mode of treatment. I decided to reach out to Tsao Foundation for assistance in self-help and management to alleviate my situation. I need to be resourceful to find resources to help myself cope better and climb out of the pit.

Anne, You Need to Keep Trying to Change Your Story. To beat the inner demons that condemned myself to a sad plight/ poor future. Stop limiting yourself to the belief that you can’t succeed because of your lack of resources. NOT TRUE! (XXX Some People are just Lucky)

You have the power to build your muscles (Hunger; Drive) to achieve; take to next level and to succeed! (BE SO AWARE NOT TO BUY INTO LIMITING STORIES BY SOMEONE ELSE OR BY YOURSELF!!!!)

IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, YOU ARE NEVER GONNA GET IT IF YOU BLAME SOMEBODY ELSE OR GOD FOR BEING POOR. YOUR ARE POOR BECAUSE YOU SIT IN THE HOUSE AND EAT CHEETOS ALL DAY. IT IS NOT GOD’S FAULT! I HAVE TO COME UP WITH A BETTER STORY, A STORY THAT WILL MAKE THINGS WORK!

Inspiration Below:

http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/1949/See-Why-This-Beautifully-Written-Obituary-Is-Going-Viral-In-Singapore

How to Make a Breakthrough

Tony delves into the three key components to creating a breakthrough: strategy, story and state. The way you approach a goal, your beliefs about your life, and your mental game form the foundation for any success or failure. But by learning how to take control of these forces, you can take massive action and can create the quality of life that you’ve always wanted.

When you failed in the past, Why did you fail?

CHANGE YOUR STORY, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

If you are not where you are, then it is the story you tell. The story that protects yourself from pain is also the story that imprisons yourself. It keeps you from changing your life. So you need to shift your story, to empower yourself! To change yourself, to push yourself beyond anything you have ever done in the past.

Suggest a different reason –

Common reason given for failure is lack of resources. FALSE!

The real problem is not resources (time, money, technology, skills, contacts), it is a lack of resourcefulness!!!!

HUMAN EMOTIONS ( NOT LOGIC ) ARE THE D. MASTER EMOTIONS!

https://www.gobankingrates.com/personal-finance/tony-robbins-best-advice-30-somethings/